He's Not That Into You

Okay, so I've seen this movie a lot of times and I even read the book. I saw various movies in the long weekend I had, in between my road trip and some eating out and errands ... movies like Before Sunrise, Before Sunset, When Harry Met Sally, He Said She Said .... so today, on my last day of my long weekend, I thought I'd see He's Not That Into You ... and what do you know, I realized (again, for that matter!) that this guy I really, really, REALLY like is NOT that INTO me!

It wasn't actually a revelation. I think I'm the total opposite of Ginnifer Goodwin in the movie. When all of her (my friends!) tell her (me!) that the guy might be just, say, buying time to call her (me!), or ask her (me!) out on a date or is busy with work or is out of town, the truth is he isn't remotely interested to ask her (me!) out again. That he didn't forget to call, or email or whatever to ask her (me!) out. The reality of it is that the man is not interested at all!

And despite all the hopes that seems to surround her (me!), the reality is just right in front of her (me!). And as a BIG GIRL, I realized that this is something that has to be dealt with head on. That she (I am) is never the exception for this guy. She's (I'm) the rule.

I've always made it a belief that if the guy is truly interested, he will call. He will make things happen, right? And I believe that. If he isn't, then I should start forgetting about it. And so this guy I have been pining for has asked me out, treated me so special, flirted with me a bit and just was totally the perfect gentleman all through out ... and when we return to our natural element, he just didn't call, so to speak. What do I do? I pine and hope and expect and I was happy for a while. He would be nice and he would smile and he would talk to me but no, that 'date' was never asked again. Bottom line, I have been telling myself (at least that sensible, logical, rational self) that nah, he isn't gonna happen. Though a part of me still thinks that maybe he's busy or he's intimidated and will get the courage to ask me again. But NOW again is the time to tell me that it's not true. He is simply not interested. He is polite, he smiles a lot, he is a nice guy, after all. But I think I should stop pining and allow the sensible part of me to win this tug-of-war that I call insanity vs. sanity. To maybe give myself a little detachment from all these and return to focusing on other things that is happening in my life. And then MAYBE, when I get to stop to pine over a guy who clearly doesn't like me like I like him, I will get to meet a great guy who does.

Ok, this feels a lot better in writing so I'm writing this down. If in some days I feel like fooling myself again over this guy, I will read this.

But you know what, it does feel great to tell yourself all those wishful thinking at times. To make yourself hope and dream and wait that this great guy you like will one day realize, will wake up one day and tells himself that he loves you! .... As much as I want my life to be like the movies, it isn't.

So back to reality, my dear old self. Maybe the reality has something to offer far better than the delusions.

later.