Swing

i'm not sure if im ok but i feel fine today.

what i mean is, i've been going through a nudge at the moment, the swing of my life at the moment is not as consistent with its usual, normal boring swing. yesterday, it was a little strong, the swing of the highs and the lows of my emotions. i of course always chose to be silent, pensive, a bit distant when i feel this unbalance.

today was different, i guess. i was quiet but i wasn't as absorbed to my emotions as i was. maybe i was a little busier today than yesterday. but the swing of my emotions seems consistent, almost equal distance as it move, a little slow and steady.

i don't know what tomorrow will bring. the day hasn't ended yet, though, to be thinking of what tomorrow will be. i guess,i'd find out.

later.

writing what i feel .. feeling what i write ...

i don't think i can write about what i feel.

someone told me early this morning that i'm better off writing what i feel. but the thing is what i feel is not connected to what i think. let me explain myself. if i can think of not feeling what i am feeling right now, i wouldn't have anything to write at all as i would probably tell what i feel not to feel it instead so i wouldn't have anything to think. clearly, i feel a total disconnection between my thoughts and my emotions.

im harboring some deep-seated, inexplicable, irrational emotions i THINK i should not be FEELING.

later.