Tea

I'm a tea drinker. Yes, if between coffee and tea, I would opt to drink tea -- green tea in particular, the plain, no frills type, no sugar or flavor is fine. But the truth of the matter is that i never 'really' liked drinking it. Sure, it's something warm to drink in the morning. But to actually say I like it, I don't think so. I prefer it, sure. But like? No.

Then why in the world do I drink tea, you ask? Well, it is good for the body! Yes, it is. If you want to know then Google the benefits of drinking it. The truth of the matter is that that is the reason why I drink it. Because I know it is good for me.

How boring can I get! The things that I do, I do because it's good for me. Isn't that what boring people do? Of course, sacrifice for my loved ones is not the context which I want to say in this writing. Doing that so is what is good and good for me. That all together is another long, emotional piece to write. But I just realized, now that I'm drinking this tea brought to me by my friend from her Beijing trip, I really really can opt not to drink this. But then, this is good for me and is a little better than plain old water, for that matter. I drink a cup or two in a day -- or three or four, okay -- because the more I drink it, the more I think I'm ingesting in my body what is good for me. To some extent, I think this is right. I mean, we should only eat and drink what is good for our body, right? Take care of our body as much as we can, si?

BUT always doing what is good isn't right, right? What if what I think is good is not necessarily what is good for me? To do what is always good is safe and will not at all give me any problems, worries at night, wrinkles, white hair, butterflies in the tummy .... but where does that leave me? Right. Not the looney bin, please. I think I have ample sanity not to land a spot there, thankyouverymuch. But I think I am in a place that is always safe and innucous, benign and unscathed. I'm like a mother who is protecting dearly my child -- only the child is also me. How odd is that? I think it's either I love myself too much or I hate myself too much. It's either I want to grow, sure, as it is inevitable but within the bounds of the parameters enough to always place me in a secure haven. Or hate myself to prevent me from seeking the possibilities of a life I may have probabilities of greatness. Living in the box or living in a bordeless haunt.

What to do, what to do? I need to find a balance in my life that shall swing me into taking a step in doing what I believe to be good for me and another to doing what I am unaware of the outcome. The un-Google-able. The unknown is not always bad, right? Balance. Yes, maybe that's what I should hope to find. Not hope -- strive to find.

In the meantime, I think I will drink my tea.

later.