Last December 26, the high school batch 1994 of Siena College of Taytay had a reunion at Club Manila East.
I can't say it was well attended but nonetheless, i'd like to consider it a successful event despite its only 50% attendance.
The first thing that came into my mind that night was, when I was in my high school, 10 years back, I don't think I have thought of us having a reunion after 10 years.
But we have and the moment happened last Sunday.
The night was a blast. It's always wonderful to see old faces that makes you remember fun and youth and laughters and almost all firsts of your life.
I saw old faces, most I have not seen since my graduation of 1994. Some, I may have, one way or the other, saw through the years but most, I have really lost communications with.
So many changed and yet, amidst all the laughing and shouting and reminiscin', I realised, we are all essentially the same as we were all before. Sure we may have "changed" (in its purest meaning), but deep down, the person we were before, I think, are still the same ones we are now.
I was thinking that if we all decided to come to the reunion wearing our uniform, it would be eerie but it would seem 10 years had not passed.
The night was simply a night of laughter, of hugging each other, of remembering names, of showing how things been in each lives, of how are the ups and downs and yet we are all there to share one moment in our lives, of how many has gained weight, of how one defines success and triumph ....
I love every moment of it, it must say! I enjoyed the night by even merely looking at faces of people I may not have been too close or even friends with in high school, people I recognized who have shared an experience with me in high school in some ways ... I think, in its essence, all people that night had the connection to one another that not one can explain.
We realise the moments when we were strong, moments when we were at our weakest, moments when we seem misunderstood, moments when we were laughing, moments when we thought it was over, moments when we share, when we have been united, moments when we were alienated... our antics, our triumphs, our funniest, our loneliest, the good and the bad, the braces and the hair ... hahahah ... I never thought reunions are as crazy as it had been with ours. All I do know is it sure is so much fun!
Through it all, we were there that night. All smilin'. Despite the differences in the paths we have taken, I felt that night merged all those paths into one memorable and foreverly remembered flashbacks.
For me, we have all been enriched by the lives we have lived. Whether it has been a hard life or an easy one, it has molded us into the persons we were that night.
I am proud of us. Everything is all there to be proud of. But I am most proud that we are all alive and living our lives to the fullest!
And I look forward to our 20th anniversary in 2014.
later.
ps,
yup, my high crush crush was there. amazingly, we talked to each other as 10 years ago, I can count in the palm of my hand when we actually had longer than 2 mins conversation to each other. hehehe .. have I outgrown my infatuation? .... hmmm ... didn't I say above that I think, essentuially, we have not changed?
later later.
Tuesday, December 28, 2004
Tuesday, December 21, 2004
Roadtrip to Calaruega
It's always a wonderful time when I am with my dear best friends. Laughter never fails to deafen the persons nearby, or food pig out or lots of reminiscin' and future envisioning. We are all just one happy group of girls who are naughty but nice .. right Vie?
Last Saturday, I went to Calaruega in Butalao, Batangas with Reg, Cathy, Vie and JP (JP, of course, being the "dad" of the group and Cathy's better half). We missed our dear girlfriend Armi who, before she left several months back, was also in Calaruega to see if I am trul telling the truth about the place.
We were late in leaving the city as I was late in our meeting place (hey, I had Christmas parties for two consecitive nights ... and it was one of those few times that I was ever late, right girls?). Anyway, we began our trip to Calaruega with a several teasing and many laughs. I voluntered to bring the sandwhiches and the hot choco, Cathy and JP for some drinks and "poison" food (yeah yeah the junk ones ... so we are not health buffs) and Mrs. Sung (as she prefers to be called now that she is married to her Korean hubby) brought MORE junk food.
So the trip began with a AWFUL (im sorry, Cathy, I have to say it ..) music ... the grunge, the heavy metal rock, the NOISE from the car's stereo. Our driver, Ms. Cathy Lorbes, wants a blasting sound so as to prevent any of us from doozing off. It's really as if we can even blink our eyes close when I think I just want to cover my ears from the sound. On the other hand, Reg, the sentimental lawyer, wants the love songs radio station. JP, being a kind referee as he is, once in a while, changes the station to appease the head banging head of Cathy and the sentimental heart of Reg. And all these while Vie and I devoured some sandwhiches dipped in some sandwhich spead and some hot choco.
The talks about each other's lives were intercepted by some jaw breaking laughters, some bladder breaking anicdotes from myself,some work "chika" from Cathy and JP, some sentimental stories from the hopeless romantic Reg and some marriage and breakfast "coffee" from the married Vie.
We arrived to our destination sometime around 10 in the morning and everyone is excited to be there. I, for one, was personally happy to have returned to one of my favorite places in the world, the Transfiguration Chapel of Calaruega. It is located on top of a small hill.
The place has a sentimental value to me. I have told those I am closest with how I feel about Calaruega. My first time there was 8 years ago and over the years after, I have planned on returning and being one with the place again. It was a leadership training convention that I attended when I was in Calaruega back in my college days. The activity was fun and eventful and I have learned to much. But the best moment I experienced there was when I sat on this lone bench adjacent to the small chapel on the left and over looking verdant fields and mountains. Just few steps from the same bench is already a cliff. I did not fall, of course ... but what happened was I fell in love with the beauty of what I have seen. The vast green fields and the strong proud mountains, capped with white clouds in a beautiful orange skyline ... it was before sunrise, around 6 in the morning and the whole experience converted me into a person of more faith in the wonders of a brand new day, a dawning of miracles, a blessing of beauty and serenity.
I have told to myself some promises that day and I keep such in my heart until the time it happens and all will be returned to that "promise land".
I first entered that chapel 8 years ago, when the sun was slowly rising and the rays of sun is reflected to the glass stained creations at the altar. The beam of light which is bounced on the glasses created an amazing dance of colors and stains inside the chapel. It awed me and until now, looking inside the chapel last saturday, I can almost see the reflections of the glasses. Simply breathtaking.
Back to my friends, we started our picture taking and posing and going around the small land of the secluded Calaruega. It was the first time for Reg, Cathy and JP. It was the second for me and Vie.
Vie and her husband Sunglee, when they were still "friends" and are just starting to date, went to Calaruega last February. The place did wonders to them as well and the experience of being together in the place touches their hearts. Few weeks after, the two committed to each other into a special friendship ... few months right after, marriage.
The second time for me in the place, I must admit, is not as fantastic and soul reaching as it was the first time. The feelings of the first will always stay in my memories. Last Saturday was more like re-visiting an old experience, looking at the venue from a different glance, a mature perspective, a rekindled spirit. It was a memorable moment beacause I was with my closest friends (though I miss Armi as she is in Canada already) and I was happy to share to them the beauy that captured me few years back.
There was a wedding in the Tranfiguration chapel when we were there so we did not immediately enter the small house of God. I remember, back then, I was absolutely mesmarized by the simple grandeur of the chapel. It was not lavish with gold trimmings or created to be flamboyant and eye catching ... I guess, it was simple if you look at it. Very small, around 100 sitting capacity. It was the glass stained altar which formed the images of Jesus, Moses and Elijah during the Transfiguration described in the Bible that is truly spectacular to see.
We stayed at the place for several hours because we were waiting for the wedding (which actually took forever) to finish. After which, we went inside, said our own prayers and took some photos.
Reg met her friend Dennis in Calaruega and he arrived close before we left.
We went to "downtown" tagaytay to have our late lunch. Late though it seem, it was a feast! Eating while laughing and joking around have always been a routine whenever we meet. It will not also be the same without Vie's antics and Cathy's laughs while sneezing or Reg's screams while lauging, or JP's teases. We terribly miss Armi. We felt her absence tremendously.
We went home at around 3 in the afternoon, hoping we can still visit Market Market at the Fort. But the traffic is simply at its best, as usual! It took us forever to even enter the express way, more so in Muntinlupa.
The best part of the trip was actually inside the car while we travel to and from Tagaytay. Only we know what has transpired on the talks of "coffee" in the morning of Vie, of Reg's opinion of her new found friend Dennis, of my plans on leaving the country, of JP and Cathy's wedding bells and much much more.
I must say, though, we have "learned" so much from the newly wed friend we have, right Cathy and Reg? She taught us how to take marriage in a note or two. For her, marriage is "singing of fine tunes and notes" everyday. Go figure.
I only wish we can do our travel again soon. to Share. To Laugh. To Experience Beauty Together. To Strengthen the bonds of friendship ... in the Beauty of Calaruega.
Later.
Last Saturday, I went to Calaruega in Butalao, Batangas with Reg, Cathy, Vie and JP (JP, of course, being the "dad" of the group and Cathy's better half). We missed our dear girlfriend Armi who, before she left several months back, was also in Calaruega to see if I am trul telling the truth about the place.
We were late in leaving the city as I was late in our meeting place (hey, I had Christmas parties for two consecitive nights ... and it was one of those few times that I was ever late, right girls?). Anyway, we began our trip to Calaruega with a several teasing and many laughs. I voluntered to bring the sandwhiches and the hot choco, Cathy and JP for some drinks and "poison" food (yeah yeah the junk ones ... so we are not health buffs) and Mrs. Sung (as she prefers to be called now that she is married to her Korean hubby) brought MORE junk food.
So the trip began with a AWFUL (im sorry, Cathy, I have to say it ..) music ... the grunge, the heavy metal rock, the NOISE from the car's stereo. Our driver, Ms. Cathy Lorbes, wants a blasting sound so as to prevent any of us from doozing off. It's really as if we can even blink our eyes close when I think I just want to cover my ears from the sound. On the other hand, Reg, the sentimental lawyer, wants the love songs radio station. JP, being a kind referee as he is, once in a while, changes the station to appease the head banging head of Cathy and the sentimental heart of Reg. And all these while Vie and I devoured some sandwhiches dipped in some sandwhich spead and some hot choco.
The talks about each other's lives were intercepted by some jaw breaking laughters, some bladder breaking anicdotes from myself,some work "chika" from Cathy and JP, some sentimental stories from the hopeless romantic Reg and some marriage and breakfast "coffee" from the married Vie.
We arrived to our destination sometime around 10 in the morning and everyone is excited to be there. I, for one, was personally happy to have returned to one of my favorite places in the world, the Transfiguration Chapel of Calaruega. It is located on top of a small hill.
The place has a sentimental value to me. I have told those I am closest with how I feel about Calaruega. My first time there was 8 years ago and over the years after, I have planned on returning and being one with the place again. It was a leadership training convention that I attended when I was in Calaruega back in my college days. The activity was fun and eventful and I have learned to much. But the best moment I experienced there was when I sat on this lone bench adjacent to the small chapel on the left and over looking verdant fields and mountains. Just few steps from the same bench is already a cliff. I did not fall, of course ... but what happened was I fell in love with the beauty of what I have seen. The vast green fields and the strong proud mountains, capped with white clouds in a beautiful orange skyline ... it was before sunrise, around 6 in the morning and the whole experience converted me into a person of more faith in the wonders of a brand new day, a dawning of miracles, a blessing of beauty and serenity.
I have told to myself some promises that day and I keep such in my heart until the time it happens and all will be returned to that "promise land".
I first entered that chapel 8 years ago, when the sun was slowly rising and the rays of sun is reflected to the glass stained creations at the altar. The beam of light which is bounced on the glasses created an amazing dance of colors and stains inside the chapel. It awed me and until now, looking inside the chapel last saturday, I can almost see the reflections of the glasses. Simply breathtaking.
Back to my friends, we started our picture taking and posing and going around the small land of the secluded Calaruega. It was the first time for Reg, Cathy and JP. It was the second for me and Vie.
Vie and her husband Sunglee, when they were still "friends" and are just starting to date, went to Calaruega last February. The place did wonders to them as well and the experience of being together in the place touches their hearts. Few weeks after, the two committed to each other into a special friendship ... few months right after, marriage.
The second time for me in the place, I must admit, is not as fantastic and soul reaching as it was the first time. The feelings of the first will always stay in my memories. Last Saturday was more like re-visiting an old experience, looking at the venue from a different glance, a mature perspective, a rekindled spirit. It was a memorable moment beacause I was with my closest friends (though I miss Armi as she is in Canada already) and I was happy to share to them the beauy that captured me few years back.
There was a wedding in the Tranfiguration chapel when we were there so we did not immediately enter the small house of God. I remember, back then, I was absolutely mesmarized by the simple grandeur of the chapel. It was not lavish with gold trimmings or created to be flamboyant and eye catching ... I guess, it was simple if you look at it. Very small, around 100 sitting capacity. It was the glass stained altar which formed the images of Jesus, Moses and Elijah during the Transfiguration described in the Bible that is truly spectacular to see.
We stayed at the place for several hours because we were waiting for the wedding (which actually took forever) to finish. After which, we went inside, said our own prayers and took some photos.
Reg met her friend Dennis in Calaruega and he arrived close before we left.
We went to "downtown" tagaytay to have our late lunch. Late though it seem, it was a feast! Eating while laughing and joking around have always been a routine whenever we meet. It will not also be the same without Vie's antics and Cathy's laughs while sneezing or Reg's screams while lauging, or JP's teases. We terribly miss Armi. We felt her absence tremendously.
We went home at around 3 in the afternoon, hoping we can still visit Market Market at the Fort. But the traffic is simply at its best, as usual! It took us forever to even enter the express way, more so in Muntinlupa.
The best part of the trip was actually inside the car while we travel to and from Tagaytay. Only we know what has transpired on the talks of "coffee" in the morning of Vie, of Reg's opinion of her new found friend Dennis, of my plans on leaving the country, of JP and Cathy's wedding bells and much much more.
I must say, though, we have "learned" so much from the newly wed friend we have, right Cathy and Reg? She taught us how to take marriage in a note or two. For her, marriage is "singing of fine tunes and notes" everyday. Go figure.
I only wish we can do our travel again soon. to Share. To Laugh. To Experience Beauty Together. To Strengthen the bonds of friendship ... in the Beauty of Calaruega.
Later.
Friday, December 17, 2004
Before Christmas
I had to write something today because I figured, it's only several days before Christmas and I haven't written down my thoughts about it.
So what is Christmas?
Duh!, says Homer Simpson .. right, Galorb? =)
Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year. I believe it was the festivities and the outpour of commercial sensations that captured my heart when I was very young.
But, as what they say that the view of the world changes after a few books and nuggets of wisdom taken over the years leading to your adulthood, I too, have a different perspective of what Christmas really now.
Christmas for me is a chance to renew hope in my heart. It signifies life as a miracle to appreciate each passing days. It's already a cliche for me that Christmas is a time to give and share to others what you have gained. I do not think that Christmas is here to merely justify the reasons to reach out your hand to help. You can do that all the time, anytime.
So this Christmas, I thought to give something to myself instead. Here is my Christmas wish list ...
1. World Peace. YES! I may not be a contestant in a beauty contest that mindlessly answers WORLD PEACE, smile and wave my hand. But hey, WE DO NEED WORLD PEACE, you know and it will always be on top of my list every year until I can feel it has come to the point of coming true.
2. Love,Protection,Blessings,Happiness and Forgiveness. I wish these for all those people I dearly hold in my heart .... to ... and to ... and .. and not forgeting ... and .... in short, ALL my family and ALL my friends who all deserve the grace and kindness and love and happiness coming from God.
3. Long Healthy life for Auntie Tess. This is between me and God.
4. US Visa. This is between me and God ... again.
5. The One. ... yes, also this ...
6. Digital Camera. ahh .. this one I really really want for myself this Christmas of 2005. Just last month, I realise this fascination I have with churches. You see, wherever I go, I always try to make a point of visiting the church of that particular placeI have visited. Then one day, while I was taking a mass at the Stella Orientis of the the University where I work, I thought that I wanted to collect pictures of myself standing in the facade of the church building I have visited. Since then, I have browsed through sites of different digital camera companies and researched if I can afford a cam for myself this Christmas.Fat Chance. Well, I'm still looking .... BUT, if someone out there wants to give me a digi cam as a gift, well, I will be eternally grateful.
7. A 2005 year of opportunities and the eye and strength of heart to pursue such. It's a cliche to desire a big break in life. I wish this one for all of those, who like me, still waits for the big one. But for this Christmas, I wish for myself and all those I know and maybe for those that I don't know either, a 2005 year of opportunities. It does not matter if it's a small chance or a big one. What matters to me is the chance to see it, seize it and hold in my heart that thought of giving oneself a chance to take it.
8. More FAITH to God. He knows how i love HIM and everyday of my life, I seek HIM out for a stronger hold of my bond with him. This coming year, I wish for more wonderful miracles from God which will strengthen my relationship with HIM.
I know that this heart of mine has so many desires in my heart to fulfill for the next year. But then again, I will take each passing day as a new chance to take a step towards the goal I want to achieve. What matters most, I think, is I am wlecoming a new year with an open mind, a brave heart, and a peaceful soul.
Happy Christmas to all and may the graces of God come upon you all days of your life!
A Blessed New Year as well!
later.
So what is Christmas?
Duh!, says Homer Simpson .. right, Galorb? =)
Christmas has always been my favorite part of the year. I believe it was the festivities and the outpour of commercial sensations that captured my heart when I was very young.
But, as what they say that the view of the world changes after a few books and nuggets of wisdom taken over the years leading to your adulthood, I too, have a different perspective of what Christmas really now.
Christmas for me is a chance to renew hope in my heart. It signifies life as a miracle to appreciate each passing days. It's already a cliche for me that Christmas is a time to give and share to others what you have gained. I do not think that Christmas is here to merely justify the reasons to reach out your hand to help. You can do that all the time, anytime.
So this Christmas, I thought to give something to myself instead. Here is my Christmas wish list ...
1. World Peace. YES! I may not be a contestant in a beauty contest that mindlessly answers WORLD PEACE, smile and wave my hand. But hey, WE DO NEED WORLD PEACE, you know and it will always be on top of my list every year until I can feel it has come to the point of coming true.
2. Love,Protection,Blessings,Happiness and Forgiveness. I wish these for all those people I dearly hold in my heart .... to ... and to ... and .. and not forgeting ... and .... in short, ALL my family and ALL my friends who all deserve the grace and kindness and love and happiness coming from God.
3. Long Healthy life for Auntie Tess. This is between me and God.
4. US Visa. This is between me and God ... again.
5. The One. ... yes, also this ...
6. Digital Camera. ahh .. this one I really really want for myself this Christmas of 2005. Just last month, I realise this fascination I have with churches. You see, wherever I go, I always try to make a point of visiting the church of that particular placeI have visited. Then one day, while I was taking a mass at the Stella Orientis of the the University where I work, I thought that I wanted to collect pictures of myself standing in the facade of the church building I have visited. Since then, I have browsed through sites of different digital camera companies and researched if I can afford a cam for myself this Christmas.Fat Chance. Well, I'm still looking .... BUT, if someone out there wants to give me a digi cam as a gift, well, I will be eternally grateful.
7. A 2005 year of opportunities and the eye and strength of heart to pursue such. It's a cliche to desire a big break in life. I wish this one for all of those, who like me, still waits for the big one. But for this Christmas, I wish for myself and all those I know and maybe for those that I don't know either, a 2005 year of opportunities. It does not matter if it's a small chance or a big one. What matters to me is the chance to see it, seize it and hold in my heart that thought of giving oneself a chance to take it.
8. More FAITH to God. He knows how i love HIM and everyday of my life, I seek HIM out for a stronger hold of my bond with him. This coming year, I wish for more wonderful miracles from God which will strengthen my relationship with HIM.
I know that this heart of mine has so many desires in my heart to fulfill for the next year. But then again, I will take each passing day as a new chance to take a step towards the goal I want to achieve. What matters most, I think, is I am wlecoming a new year with an open mind, a brave heart, and a peaceful soul.
Happy Christmas to all and may the graces of God come upon you all days of your life!
A Blessed New Year as well!
later.
Wednesday, December 08, 2004
Reflections of 2004
I was writing to a friend in Canada yesterday and I was telling her how 2004 has been an eventful year to all (I was actually referring to what had transpired in my and her and our friends' lives).
It hit me that 2004 is indeed ending in few days time and when I look back of the year that soon be gone, the reality of what it has brought all of us still never fails to make me sigh and thoughtfully reflect:
of the good and the awful times,
of the nearly impossible challenges conquered,
of lost love and excruciating pain,
of endless hopes and meaningful beginnings,
of unconditional love,
of having found what was lost,
of having lost of what should be gone,
of saying goodbye to friends,
of new friendships,
of distant bonds,
of weddings and marriage,
of after 10 years,
of truth and lies,
of recurring insanity,
of the possiblilty of the impossibles,
of true faces and hideous ones,
of starting an end and ending a beginning,
of smiles and cries,
of promises and optimism,
of the family,
of friends,
of faith ...
It was a blessed year no matter how it had went through.
As life celebrates the commencement of another leap, I wonder how mine again faces a new beginning.
We are better off from the ruins of yesterday as we start 2005. And yet we must remember to cherish the fragile lessons of the past.
We should live the day as it comes. Live in the present. As such cliche as it is, it is the only way to live. For the past is gone and will never return. The future is but a figment of man's imagination. We have only now to breathe, to suck in life, to open our eyes and see the world again, yet from a different set of eyes, from a different sense of smell, from a single touch, from a new vibrating sound.
After all, we will never notice how life has been until we once again remember everything at the end of the succedding year.
later.
It hit me that 2004 is indeed ending in few days time and when I look back of the year that soon be gone, the reality of what it has brought all of us still never fails to make me sigh and thoughtfully reflect:
of the good and the awful times,
of the nearly impossible challenges conquered,
of lost love and excruciating pain,
of endless hopes and meaningful beginnings,
of unconditional love,
of having found what was lost,
of having lost of what should be gone,
of saying goodbye to friends,
of new friendships,
of distant bonds,
of weddings and marriage,
of after 10 years,
of truth and lies,
of recurring insanity,
of the possiblilty of the impossibles,
of true faces and hideous ones,
of starting an end and ending a beginning,
of smiles and cries,
of promises and optimism,
of the family,
of friends,
of faith ...
It was a blessed year no matter how it had went through.
As life celebrates the commencement of another leap, I wonder how mine again faces a new beginning.
We are better off from the ruins of yesterday as we start 2005. And yet we must remember to cherish the fragile lessons of the past.
We should live the day as it comes. Live in the present. As such cliche as it is, it is the only way to live. For the past is gone and will never return. The future is but a figment of man's imagination. We have only now to breathe, to suck in life, to open our eyes and see the world again, yet from a different set of eyes, from a different sense of smell, from a single touch, from a new vibrating sound.
After all, we will never notice how life has been until we once again remember everything at the end of the succedding year.
later.
Tuesday, November 30, 2004
Closing Cycles By Paolo Coelho
Paulo Coelho is a brilliant mind, a timid soul and a beautiful writer. Please read something of him ....
Closing Cycles By Paolo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister,everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (howeverpainful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourselffrom them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes welose. Do not expect anything in return, donot expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to beunderstood. Stop turning on your emotionaltelevision to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much yousuffered from a certain loss: that is onlypoisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not acceptinglove relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no startingdate, decisions that are always put offwaiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to befinished: tell yourself that what has passedwill never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. "Love is a commitment of the heart that willstand the test of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantialallure, hormonal infatuation, and even thewounds of your lover. Anything less is not true love."
Closing Cycles By Paolo Coelho
One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister,everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (howeverpainful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourselffrom them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes welose. Do not expect anything in return, donot expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to beunderstood. Stop turning on your emotionaltelevision to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much yousuffered from a certain loss: that is onlypoisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not acceptinglove relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no startingdate, decisions that are always put offwaiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to befinished: tell yourself that what has passedwill never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. "Love is a commitment of the heart that willstand the test of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantialallure, hormonal infatuation, and even thewounds of your lover. Anything less is not true love."
Babies
I was looking at the photo of Jena's babies. She is one of my high school friends that I can't wait to see in the reunion 25 days from now.
Goodness! How time flies. I cannot imagine how three adorable babies CAME OUT FROM HER! From my friend's womb. I was in awe, really!
I went to my doctor earlier and she was soo huge due to her pregnancy. I was again in awe!
Woah! Don't think I do not know the birds and the bees stuff ... I do. But you see, it still never fails to amaze me how in the world can a beating heart and a palpitating soul of a little human being is IN a mom's womb and how, once it is welcomed to the world, such baby will grow into a man or a woman, will study, eat, sleep, make friends, marry, travel and ultimately will also die.
Morbid. But true.
Oh, life is a wonderful. Don't get me wrong that I just look at babies and think, "oh one day, this baby will die" ... it's a crazy thought.
Of course, like the others, I adore babies.
But the thought of what life is is there, you know.
An amazement. A constant miraculous exhibition. That each walking human has all the capacity and capability to perform MIRACLE. To give LIFE to another person. Nurture it. Feed it. See it. Until the time for another cycle of reproduction.
Such power ... but such responsibility as well.
It's a scary feeling, no? It scares me, promise.
I'm not a mother ... not yet, at least. But when I think of how I will carry in me a baby and bring him / her out int his world, the thought petrifies me.
The world is soo cruel at times. It is noisy and dirty and evil. How can you bring a baby in this condition when you know that the future seems doom to fail?
But to hold a baby, a small life, a living proof of humanity, in your arms, must be the most happy existence a person can feel.
Amazing yet terrifying.
Oh, I think too much. And all this because of three little babies I was staring at a while ago.
This all came out when I was just looking at the picture of three adorable children of a friend. I'm not sure if it was the idea of her having 3 kids already or the 3 kids came from her ... I dunno. But the existence of life from another existence is a miracle too beautiful to comprehend.
Maybe it is true. To understand life is too much. That we cannot really gasp what life really is until .....................
until I do not know when.
Life continues ...
later.
Goodness! How time flies. I cannot imagine how three adorable babies CAME OUT FROM HER! From my friend's womb. I was in awe, really!
I went to my doctor earlier and she was soo huge due to her pregnancy. I was again in awe!
Woah! Don't think I do not know the birds and the bees stuff ... I do. But you see, it still never fails to amaze me how in the world can a beating heart and a palpitating soul of a little human being is IN a mom's womb and how, once it is welcomed to the world, such baby will grow into a man or a woman, will study, eat, sleep, make friends, marry, travel and ultimately will also die.
Morbid. But true.
Oh, life is a wonderful. Don't get me wrong that I just look at babies and think, "oh one day, this baby will die" ... it's a crazy thought.
Of course, like the others, I adore babies.
But the thought of what life is is there, you know.
An amazement. A constant miraculous exhibition. That each walking human has all the capacity and capability to perform MIRACLE. To give LIFE to another person. Nurture it. Feed it. See it. Until the time for another cycle of reproduction.
Such power ... but such responsibility as well.
It's a scary feeling, no? It scares me, promise.
I'm not a mother ... not yet, at least. But when I think of how I will carry in me a baby and bring him / her out int his world, the thought petrifies me.
The world is soo cruel at times. It is noisy and dirty and evil. How can you bring a baby in this condition when you know that the future seems doom to fail?
But to hold a baby, a small life, a living proof of humanity, in your arms, must be the most happy existence a person can feel.
Amazing yet terrifying.
Oh, I think too much. And all this because of three little babies I was staring at a while ago.
This all came out when I was just looking at the picture of three adorable children of a friend. I'm not sure if it was the idea of her having 3 kids already or the 3 kids came from her ... I dunno. But the existence of life from another existence is a miracle too beautiful to comprehend.
Maybe it is true. To understand life is too much. That we cannot really gasp what life really is until .....................
until I do not know when.
Life continues ...
later.
Saturday, November 27, 2004
Love is ...
I was on my way home last night and the usual traffic allowed my thoughts to once again drift away while viewing the world outside the car I was in.
Then, amidst the noise and the commotion I was observing, it just hit me on the face ... this thought about LOVE.
I have read so many readings about love and its definition. Some cheesy, some philosophical, some serious, some just for the laughs.
Then I asked, what is love for me? How do my finite mind express in words the meaning of a word whose depth and soul has been a search universally by all people from all walks of life?
I realised, that LOVE is a sacrifice. That man can never reveal that they have love until they have given something, somehow of themselves to the one they love. That, I think, is what LOVE is. A selfish man can never say that he has loved. Love can never be until you have offered something of yourself for the benefit of the other. Until the time you have thought yourself second and the one you love first, then you have not known what love is.
It's like when a child ask from a mother the bread she is to put on her mouth, the mother will thoughtlessly offer the piece of life to her child.
Or like a husband who have an important moment to shine in his career learns his wife is dying, he will thoughtlessly give up the once - in - a - lifetime chance to be with his ailing bride.
Or a friend who has found the best dress for the school dance only to find out it was the first choice of her best girlfriend too, who will be having her first date with her long time crush, she will thoughtlessly offer to have the second best dress for herself and give away the first to her friend.
Or even a dog who thougthlessly welcomes a bullet to protect the master he loves.
Thoughtlessly. Not even a single thought to the mind.
I dunno, maybe there is more to love than what I have thought it would be. I'm sure there is.
But I have looked at the Cross, stare in Jesus, whose arms are wide spread, whose side is bleeding, whose head crowned with thorns, and I thought, what this man has done maybe what the depth of love is.
He has not only given a piece of himself, but the whole of him to mankind.
With the thought of love raising in my mind, brewing inside me, I have asked myself, have I ever made anyone feel that I LOVE them? In its true meaning, have I ever?
I thought of my mom and my sister and my grandmother, and my nephews, my aunts, and my brother, my closest friends ...
I felt I have ... and yet I felt I have yet more time to prove such feeling of mine to them.
I have realised that there is nothing short to giving my life for my love one.
I left the car feeling absolutely scared and truly jubilant with the thought.
later.
Then, amidst the noise and the commotion I was observing, it just hit me on the face ... this thought about LOVE.
I have read so many readings about love and its definition. Some cheesy, some philosophical, some serious, some just for the laughs.
Then I asked, what is love for me? How do my finite mind express in words the meaning of a word whose depth and soul has been a search universally by all people from all walks of life?
I realised, that LOVE is a sacrifice. That man can never reveal that they have love until they have given something, somehow of themselves to the one they love. That, I think, is what LOVE is. A selfish man can never say that he has loved. Love can never be until you have offered something of yourself for the benefit of the other. Until the time you have thought yourself second and the one you love first, then you have not known what love is.
It's like when a child ask from a mother the bread she is to put on her mouth, the mother will thoughtlessly offer the piece of life to her child.
Or like a husband who have an important moment to shine in his career learns his wife is dying, he will thoughtlessly give up the once - in - a - lifetime chance to be with his ailing bride.
Or a friend who has found the best dress for the school dance only to find out it was the first choice of her best girlfriend too, who will be having her first date with her long time crush, she will thoughtlessly offer to have the second best dress for herself and give away the first to her friend.
Or even a dog who thougthlessly welcomes a bullet to protect the master he loves.
Thoughtlessly. Not even a single thought to the mind.
I dunno, maybe there is more to love than what I have thought it would be. I'm sure there is.
But I have looked at the Cross, stare in Jesus, whose arms are wide spread, whose side is bleeding, whose head crowned with thorns, and I thought, what this man has done maybe what the depth of love is.
He has not only given a piece of himself, but the whole of him to mankind.
With the thought of love raising in my mind, brewing inside me, I have asked myself, have I ever made anyone feel that I LOVE them? In its true meaning, have I ever?
I thought of my mom and my sister and my grandmother, and my nephews, my aunts, and my brother, my closest friends ...
I felt I have ... and yet I felt I have yet more time to prove such feeling of mine to them.
I have realised that there is nothing short to giving my life for my love one.
I left the car feeling absolutely scared and truly jubilant with the thought.
later.
Friday, November 19, 2004
Three Men and a Big Lady
A very close friend of mine, an ally, a confidante, is leaving next week for abroad. As much as I am truly happy that he will be seeking a better challenge somewhere, I am but human to feel sadness in his departure.
We have been the "fabulos 'por' ", the "prayer warriors", as we have shared to one another the prayer of each. Ours is a bond that is tightly intertwined amidst resignation and the feeling of discontent (if you are closest to us, you will know what that is). They are my brothers in prayers, in laughters, in food tripping, in problem solving, in chismisan. I was always considered one of the boys despite how I always tell them "hello, babae ako!" whenever they get immerse with their boy's talk. I was their big sister, literally at that, as when the four of us walk together, I tower over my three "little" brothers. They have taught me that men are generally good by showing me how they are ... to their wives and sisters and daughters and .... me ... that is when they feel being nice to me and not treat me like I'm of the same specie as them.
The four of us, we have dreams of our own. We share our visions and dreams for ourselves, for our families and even for our friendship. We pray together for each. We are silent amidst the chaos. We support. We triumphed.
One left few months back and it saddened me that one of the four corners had gone chasing the end of his rainbow. A responsible man to his family, a funny man to his friends, a respected professional in his field. Donskie, we call him. To me, he is the Ching, short for tabachingching.
After few turns and stops, another of the four corner will be leaving his post today for a better pasture ahead. He was a funny man, serious in his field, the "lion" man and "possessed" whenever he feels the lens of the camera is focused on him. You will never miss how popular he is amongst the people in our workplace. No bad blood, he is that. Everyone simply adores this man of diplomacy and wit.
To you, my utol James Kulotskie so long. I am sure we will once again see each other as we have all planned.
Now that only two of us are left, we try to hold on to our posts. We wait. Time is crucial. We know in time, in His most perfect time and perfect will, Boomskie and I will also be placed to where we will soar as high as our two brothers.
later.
We have been the "fabulos 'por' ", the "prayer warriors", as we have shared to one another the prayer of each. Ours is a bond that is tightly intertwined amidst resignation and the feeling of discontent (if you are closest to us, you will know what that is). They are my brothers in prayers, in laughters, in food tripping, in problem solving, in chismisan. I was always considered one of the boys despite how I always tell them "hello, babae ako!" whenever they get immerse with their boy's talk. I was their big sister, literally at that, as when the four of us walk together, I tower over my three "little" brothers. They have taught me that men are generally good by showing me how they are ... to their wives and sisters and daughters and .... me ... that is when they feel being nice to me and not treat me like I'm of the same specie as them.
The four of us, we have dreams of our own. We share our visions and dreams for ourselves, for our families and even for our friendship. We pray together for each. We are silent amidst the chaos. We support. We triumphed.
One left few months back and it saddened me that one of the four corners had gone chasing the end of his rainbow. A responsible man to his family, a funny man to his friends, a respected professional in his field. Donskie, we call him. To me, he is the Ching, short for tabachingching.
After few turns and stops, another of the four corner will be leaving his post today for a better pasture ahead. He was a funny man, serious in his field, the "lion" man and "possessed" whenever he feels the lens of the camera is focused on him. You will never miss how popular he is amongst the people in our workplace. No bad blood, he is that. Everyone simply adores this man of diplomacy and wit.
To you, my utol James Kulotskie so long. I am sure we will once again see each other as we have all planned.
Now that only two of us are left, we try to hold on to our posts. We wait. Time is crucial. We know in time, in His most perfect time and perfect will, Boomskie and I will also be placed to where we will soar as high as our two brothers.
later.
Thursday, November 18, 2004
Break the Code of Dan Brown
I read the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown several days ago. The "controversies" he has presented in his novel really shook me to the core of my intellectual capacity. The idea of the inaccuracy of history itself as was depicted and idealized by Brown is substantially shocking and moving. The possibilities of his endless narrative on the church and its teachings , of Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene and even the "codes" behind the canvasses of Da Vinci's portraits are revolutionary. Such is a sure shot to trigger old issues of the church and her deviants, of history itself and the perspective of man on what is truly believeable and divinely transcendental and what is just a mere creation of a finite mind.
I was asked if the book of Brown convinced me. I have thought about it and realised I never view the book as means to "convince" me of what I have otherwise grown up and faithfully believed in for a long time.
The novel entertained me. As i said, it is revolutionary but nothing I have never heard before.
I find nothing wrong if people who have read the book cast doubts and question their beliefs. Man himself should know how to seek the depth of his faith, not by mere words or graphics or heresay. His depth must come to the communion of his higher self, his spirit, his soul with his God... and not with mere pages of a fictional novel.
later.
I was asked if the book of Brown convinced me. I have thought about it and realised I never view the book as means to "convince" me of what I have otherwise grown up and faithfully believed in for a long time.
The novel entertained me. As i said, it is revolutionary but nothing I have never heard before.
I find nothing wrong if people who have read the book cast doubts and question their beliefs. Man himself should know how to seek the depth of his faith, not by mere words or graphics or heresay. His depth must come to the communion of his higher self, his spirit, his soul with his God... and not with mere pages of a fictional novel.
later.
Wednesday, November 10, 2004
later
she can't breathe.
she woke up today in the anticipation of an event she has been waiting for in a long time and yet it didn't happen.
she felt the void. the emptiness inside.
she thought today she will receive the answer she have asked herself a hundred times over. she was wrong. it isn't time.
she do not know how long she can wait. she wants to see him again; the desire to be held in his arms. for the first time or for the last.
it still hurt sometimes when you know to yourself that you have let it all go, problems have vanished and life for you has moved on. but in an instant he appears back in your life, everything you have worked hard to achieve in building bricks around your heart began crushing down.
when will this stop? when is the time she can say she has really really REALLY moved on? can she tell? can anyone tell?
later.
she woke up today in the anticipation of an event she has been waiting for in a long time and yet it didn't happen.
she felt the void. the emptiness inside.
she thought today she will receive the answer she have asked herself a hundred times over. she was wrong. it isn't time.
she do not know how long she can wait. she wants to see him again; the desire to be held in his arms. for the first time or for the last.
it still hurt sometimes when you know to yourself that you have let it all go, problems have vanished and life for you has moved on. but in an instant he appears back in your life, everything you have worked hard to achieve in building bricks around your heart began crushing down.
when will this stop? when is the time she can say she has really really REALLY moved on? can she tell? can anyone tell?
later.
Tuesday, November 09, 2004
Bridge
Everyday, on my way to work, I pass by a bridge which is parallel to another one several meters away. In between is a foul man-mad lake, inhibited by lilies and the day-to-day garbage of the people living in the shanties near the body of water
Everytime I would look out the window of the car, I would always see myself looking at that other bridge and wonder if i can ever reach it by crossing its gap ... a filthy garbage filled man-made river.
In days when the sun is up and all is shiny and bright, I can clearly see the bridge. In days when rain pours and the mist clouds the view, I can just barely sight the outline of it. Either way, whenever my eyes pan on the view, I always question if I can ever reach and cross it from where I was.
I have not found the answer on how but I know, one day, it will happen.
later.
Everytime I would look out the window of the car, I would always see myself looking at that other bridge and wonder if i can ever reach it by crossing its gap ... a filthy garbage filled man-made river.
In days when the sun is up and all is shiny and bright, I can clearly see the bridge. In days when rain pours and the mist clouds the view, I can just barely sight the outline of it. Either way, whenever my eyes pan on the view, I always question if I can ever reach and cross it from where I was.
I have not found the answer on how but I know, one day, it will happen.
later.
Before Sunset
I saw Before Sunset.
I must say, it simply took my breathe away.
As the movie starts, I find myself catching my breathe and waiting fervently to every word uttered by Jesse (Ethan Hawke) as he talks about his book which narrates the experience he had with the beautiful french girl in Vienna 9 years ago. The movie simply took me away as Jesse saw Celine (Julie Deply) from the background and everything was simply beautiful as they started to walk and converse, laugh and go crazy in the whole length of the movie.
This movie is not for everyone. So it is a love story. But not your conventional type of boy sweeping girl off her feet and a happy ending. Remember, this is a sequel of Before Sunrise.
It is either you love the movie or you hate it. Whichever signifies the type of a moviegoer (or even a person) you are.
Before Sunrise was on of those few films that hits me to the core. But this one, Before Sunset, is just one memorable film. Maybe the reason is the simplicity of the movie and how it narrates life and love is as simple as just having two souls walking and talking, about things that may be trivial or things that are intense and thought pondering.
I simply love it when the two leads would just talk and talk and talk then for a while stop and just feel the exicitng silence between them. And it doesnt make them uncomfortable but rather the existence of silence was the bind that tied their souls together which lasted for 9 years until they met again in Paris.
Hmm ... maybe when we're younger we think that we have a full lifetime ahead to meet other people that could replace the ones we have met in the past . But as we grow older, we realise that there are only few ones who can really make our lives change.
I wonder now the people whom I have met by chance along the way.
later.
I must say, it simply took my breathe away.
As the movie starts, I find myself catching my breathe and waiting fervently to every word uttered by Jesse (Ethan Hawke) as he talks about his book which narrates the experience he had with the beautiful french girl in Vienna 9 years ago. The movie simply took me away as Jesse saw Celine (Julie Deply) from the background and everything was simply beautiful as they started to walk and converse, laugh and go crazy in the whole length of the movie.
This movie is not for everyone. So it is a love story. But not your conventional type of boy sweeping girl off her feet and a happy ending. Remember, this is a sequel of Before Sunrise.
It is either you love the movie or you hate it. Whichever signifies the type of a moviegoer (or even a person) you are.
Before Sunrise was on of those few films that hits me to the core. But this one, Before Sunset, is just one memorable film. Maybe the reason is the simplicity of the movie and how it narrates life and love is as simple as just having two souls walking and talking, about things that may be trivial or things that are intense and thought pondering.
I simply love it when the two leads would just talk and talk and talk then for a while stop and just feel the exicitng silence between them. And it doesnt make them uncomfortable but rather the existence of silence was the bind that tied their souls together which lasted for 9 years until they met again in Paris.
Hmm ... maybe when we're younger we think that we have a full lifetime ahead to meet other people that could replace the ones we have met in the past . But as we grow older, we realise that there are only few ones who can really make our lives change.
I wonder now the people whom I have met by chance along the way.
later.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Lost and Found
I have lost and I have found.
We have lost so many people in our lives as we go through the years ... things we misplaced ... words we forgot ... promises we failed to keep ...
I have gone through all the losing, missing, forgetting and failing .... and yet I have once again found.
It is an immense feeling of satisfaction and utter happiness ... having hopeless devotion of the feeling of lost and thought of an empty infinite life ahead ...
and yet, a chance has opened up an oasis of renewed possibilities.
A new yet old commencement of life.
It is true indeed that life is a second chance, at times.
later.
We have lost so many people in our lives as we go through the years ... things we misplaced ... words we forgot ... promises we failed to keep ...
I have gone through all the losing, missing, forgetting and failing .... and yet I have once again found.
It is an immense feeling of satisfaction and utter happiness ... having hopeless devotion of the feeling of lost and thought of an empty infinite life ahead ...
and yet, a chance has opened up an oasis of renewed possibilities.
A new yet old commencement of life.
It is true indeed that life is a second chance, at times.
later.
Wedding and Marriage
My dear friend is gettig married. Up until last night, it has not sink in to all of us, her friends, that she really is tying the knot. But she is, with all her wedding dress and shoes prepared.
The guy is of a totally different culture from her. Totally different orientation, beliefs, name it, most likely, he oppose her as she does him too.Though one thing is sure they have total affirmation to each other with ... that is the love they have within for each other.
I can't speak for the guy, of course. I have met him once, when he was just casually introduced to me and he uttered two words to me ... "I'm ___ (his name)". I cannot form an opinion in one introduction, or one meeting ... I do not even have a first impression other than what I can see physically. To judge a person with what is superficial is the lamest and dumbest and I do not carry such traits. I take him as he is. No more, no less.
But I trust my friend. And I believe her.She knows and feels and transcendentally grasps from her soul what she wants and maybe, just maybe, she has found "it" all to him. Isn't it love, in its most oddest to others, most obscure and bizzare to the rest of the world, is the most sane and reasonable emotion to the two hearts beating as one? Don't take my word for it, goodness! Maybe some can comprehend and others can't. Figure.
I always say that getting married is not necessarily finding the right person but rather the right time. I hope to God she finds the right time and the right person in him.
She has been preparing for her wedding and having just some small, not so really signifacant matter such as where to wed ... heheh .. He is not Catholic, her family wants her wedding in the traditional Filipino way ... in a Catholic Church.
It is not the wedding that is important. In the long run, it is the marriage that matters and the love and respect and the laughs, of course.
Let me tell you about my friend ... she is one of the kindest person I have ever encountered in my life. God fearing, devoted, honest, humble and humane. Words of kindess and truth in me cannot even define the deep respect and care I have for this friend of mine.Of all, she is one of those I pray dearly to find someone who will truly love her and bestow on her the happiness she so much deserve.
In this just-a-little-sudden wedding, all I pray and wish and desire for her is a love to forever grow and flourish with the divine intervention of the God she truly believes and faithfully pray to.
To you, mareng Vie, my best and most joyous wishes.The road you took may have been one of the roughest and darkest ... but you believe in the light as you never fear the shadows.
We are all waiting to shower you with all the support and love you need!
Cheers!
later.
The guy is of a totally different culture from her. Totally different orientation, beliefs, name it, most likely, he oppose her as she does him too.Though one thing is sure they have total affirmation to each other with ... that is the love they have within for each other.
I can't speak for the guy, of course. I have met him once, when he was just casually introduced to me and he uttered two words to me ... "I'm ___ (his name)". I cannot form an opinion in one introduction, or one meeting ... I do not even have a first impression other than what I can see physically. To judge a person with what is superficial is the lamest and dumbest and I do not carry such traits. I take him as he is. No more, no less.
But I trust my friend. And I believe her.She knows and feels and transcendentally grasps from her soul what she wants and maybe, just maybe, she has found "it" all to him. Isn't it love, in its most oddest to others, most obscure and bizzare to the rest of the world, is the most sane and reasonable emotion to the two hearts beating as one? Don't take my word for it, goodness! Maybe some can comprehend and others can't. Figure.
I always say that getting married is not necessarily finding the right person but rather the right time. I hope to God she finds the right time and the right person in him.
She has been preparing for her wedding and having just some small, not so really signifacant matter such as where to wed ... heheh .. He is not Catholic, her family wants her wedding in the traditional Filipino way ... in a Catholic Church.
It is not the wedding that is important. In the long run, it is the marriage that matters and the love and respect and the laughs, of course.
Let me tell you about my friend ... she is one of the kindest person I have ever encountered in my life. God fearing, devoted, honest, humble and humane. Words of kindess and truth in me cannot even define the deep respect and care I have for this friend of mine.Of all, she is one of those I pray dearly to find someone who will truly love her and bestow on her the happiness she so much deserve.
In this just-a-little-sudden wedding, all I pray and wish and desire for her is a love to forever grow and flourish with the divine intervention of the God she truly believes and faithfully pray to.
To you, mareng Vie, my best and most joyous wishes.The road you took may have been one of the roughest and darkest ... but you believe in the light as you never fear the shadows.
We are all waiting to shower you with all the support and love you need!
Cheers!
later.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Stuck in the Moment
Have you ever felt a moment in your life when you just WANT to be stuck in that very "second" of your life, as if your whole existence depended on it?
But then again, have you ever experienced that you are just so STUCK in that moment that you can not just budge no matter how you go crazy flagging your arms to find your way out?
Why can't life's moment be just the former rather than the latter? Or maybe, more moments in life should be a little more of the former and a little less , if not totally none, of the latter?
I feel moments that are precious should last a little longer than it have had in my life. And those that are just way too "forgettable" be just gone and diminish into thin air.
The more I wish it goes away, the "stuckable" moments, the more it remains. I miss the special times I want moments to end. I think life's significance is embedded in those times, those special moments.
im "blogging" again ... i do not know how to unearth from myself the emotions all bottled up inside longing for those ordinary yet extra ordinary moments of life. It does not have to be long walks in the beach under a star-filled skyline, or holding hands amidts a crowded avenue so as one is not lost from the other, or moments of silence then laughter of something silly as a glance ... it does not have to be that ... its maybe even just an unconscious attempt of having such moments is somehow more than enough for a thirsty soul and dry heart.
later.
But then again, have you ever experienced that you are just so STUCK in that moment that you can not just budge no matter how you go crazy flagging your arms to find your way out?
Why can't life's moment be just the former rather than the latter? Or maybe, more moments in life should be a little more of the former and a little less , if not totally none, of the latter?
I feel moments that are precious should last a little longer than it have had in my life. And those that are just way too "forgettable" be just gone and diminish into thin air.
The more I wish it goes away, the "stuckable" moments, the more it remains. I miss the special times I want moments to end. I think life's significance is embedded in those times, those special moments.
im "blogging" again ... i do not know how to unearth from myself the emotions all bottled up inside longing for those ordinary yet extra ordinary moments of life. It does not have to be long walks in the beach under a star-filled skyline, or holding hands amidts a crowded avenue so as one is not lost from the other, or moments of silence then laughter of something silly as a glance ... it does not have to be that ... its maybe even just an unconscious attempt of having such moments is somehow more than enough for a thirsty soul and dry heart.
later.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Grandmother
I look at her and smile.
all my childhood, adolescent, not-so-adolescent memories, I have spent with her.
she is the epitome of my strength. she gives meaning to the "unconditional love" I cannot comprehend at times.
looking at her makes me want to protect her, serve her, care for her and do all in my powers to make her life the most beautiful ... as she had made many lives in our family beautiful.
she is not a perfect woman. she screams, she shouts, she goes crazy. but what is all of that when what she do the best to all of us is LOVE.
i often say i die without her. i still feel that. i never know life without her.
she is aging by the day, growing older ... but age is just a number. physical power is just superficial ....
her power over us remains ... her power of love still stands amidst our family.
i love my grandmother like the air i breathe, like the blood that runs my veins.
i understand what it's like to sacrifice ones life to another ... she does that to all of us .. i know i can do it for her as well.
i love you, nay.
later.
all my childhood, adolescent, not-so-adolescent memories, I have spent with her.
she is the epitome of my strength. she gives meaning to the "unconditional love" I cannot comprehend at times.
looking at her makes me want to protect her, serve her, care for her and do all in my powers to make her life the most beautiful ... as she had made many lives in our family beautiful.
she is not a perfect woman. she screams, she shouts, she goes crazy. but what is all of that when what she do the best to all of us is LOVE.
i often say i die without her. i still feel that. i never know life without her.
she is aging by the day, growing older ... but age is just a number. physical power is just superficial ....
her power over us remains ... her power of love still stands amidst our family.
i love my grandmother like the air i breathe, like the blood that runs my veins.
i understand what it's like to sacrifice ones life to another ... she does that to all of us .. i know i can do it for her as well.
i love you, nay.
later.
Tears Tonight
When we actually think we have it all, we crawl to our bed and shed tears for reasons our deepest thoughts cannot dicepher.
we cry for reasons our body needs to release its pain, our heart needs to shed it emotions, our minds need to unburden its weight, our souls need to clean its existence.
we cry for reasons we cannot understand. the water flows from our eyes, blurring the sight we try to keep, of the ceiling of our rooms that seems to be too high to reach by our vision. we are helpless.
and yet tomorrow, everything will still be in its place. the tears are gone and the pain, less.
we still have it all and yet the circle will once again repeat itself.
tonight.
later.
we cry for reasons our body needs to release its pain, our heart needs to shed it emotions, our minds need to unburden its weight, our souls need to clean its existence.
we cry for reasons we cannot understand. the water flows from our eyes, blurring the sight we try to keep, of the ceiling of our rooms that seems to be too high to reach by our vision. we are helpless.
and yet tomorrow, everything will still be in its place. the tears are gone and the pain, less.
we still have it all and yet the circle will once again repeat itself.
tonight.
later.
Dream and Life
he gasps. the dream again ...
he reached for a hand and yet before he holds it, just when the moment his hand touches the soft dainty hand, it disappers and wakes up.
life is so much like the hand.
we gasp it, we touch it and its gone ... and only when we sleep, only when we are in our most unconscious self that it appears once again and touches us.
we live to dream and we dream to live.
later
he reached for a hand and yet before he holds it, just when the moment his hand touches the soft dainty hand, it disappers and wakes up.
life is so much like the hand.
we gasp it, we touch it and its gone ... and only when we sleep, only when we are in our most unconscious self that it appears once again and touches us.
we live to dream and we dream to live.
later
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Again ... a new beginning
I'm a faithful believer of second chances.
I believe that if we desire it in our hearts, what we may have lost once may be realised again as a second chance.
I have lost a lot in my life. and true enough, I had my second chances.
The question of having it in my hand and seizing the once gone moment, I have yet to contemplate with myself. I may have lost many second chances as well.
Life is not a one strike deal, my dears. We are truly blessed of a second "life" by our Creator.
Writing here is a second "life" ... maybe even several "lives" over ... but the chance is here and it has once again given.
Im grasping the sand in my palm. It, in time, will fleet, will fade .... gone ... as life itself.
But I will put its mark in my palm, to remember it once touched my life.
And maybe yours.
later.
I believe that if we desire it in our hearts, what we may have lost once may be realised again as a second chance.
I have lost a lot in my life. and true enough, I had my second chances.
The question of having it in my hand and seizing the once gone moment, I have yet to contemplate with myself. I may have lost many second chances as well.
Life is not a one strike deal, my dears. We are truly blessed of a second "life" by our Creator.
Writing here is a second "life" ... maybe even several "lives" over ... but the chance is here and it has once again given.
Im grasping the sand in my palm. It, in time, will fleet, will fade .... gone ... as life itself.
But I will put its mark in my palm, to remember it once touched my life.
And maybe yours.
later.
Morning After
Today i think of yesterday. of its beauty and its wonder and its fun and its everything.
Today i think of how i miss not spending my time well with yesteday, with friends and family. Today I regret not enjoying my yesterday with its woes and blues, its ups and downs and its thin thread of sanity and craziness.
Why do i miss yesterday today?
I search for the brightness of yesterday, of its possibilities, of its infinite miles to run, of its vast fields to conquer, of its peaks to achieve ....
all of it happened yesterday. and i thought of that today.
is it too late to bring back the yesterday today?
i wonder.
will i think of today tomorrow?
later.
Today i think of how i miss not spending my time well with yesteday, with friends and family. Today I regret not enjoying my yesterday with its woes and blues, its ups and downs and its thin thread of sanity and craziness.
Why do i miss yesterday today?
I search for the brightness of yesterday, of its possibilities, of its infinite miles to run, of its vast fields to conquer, of its peaks to achieve ....
all of it happened yesterday. and i thought of that today.
is it too late to bring back the yesterday today?
i wonder.
will i think of today tomorrow?
later.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Sick and Tired
this is a lousy morning. you ever wonder how a morning like this will end up beat and in tempo by the evening.my nose is once again screaming from all the mucus it has been dispensing, my eyes teary once again and my throat burning painfully.
what is with colds anyway? is it this season? it's just that everyone i sit beside with, or talk to are either coughing or sneezing ... geez, cover your noses, people!some others are catching your virus and you are actually ruining a life!urgh!
all my chat programs here at the office are down due to server probs. my life in this four corner of the space only exist and breathe for yahoo and msn messenger. not to mention the chikka programs which truly helps me in the fiscal crisis of aloting just enuf e-load to my justify my mobile's existence.
oh. now im maybe blabbing but then again this is what this is for, right?
later.
what is with colds anyway? is it this season? it's just that everyone i sit beside with, or talk to are either coughing or sneezing ... geez, cover your noses, people!some others are catching your virus and you are actually ruining a life!urgh!
all my chat programs here at the office are down due to server probs. my life in this four corner of the space only exist and breathe for yahoo and msn messenger. not to mention the chikka programs which truly helps me in the fiscal crisis of aloting just enuf e-load to my justify my mobile's existence.
oh. now im maybe blabbing but then again this is what this is for, right?
later.
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