Closing Cycles By Paolo Coelho

Paulo Coelho is a brilliant mind, a timid soul and a beautiful writer. Please read something of him ....

Closing Cycles By Paolo Coelho

One always has to know when a stage comes to an end. If we insist on staying longer than the necessary time, we lose the happiness and the meaning of the other stages we have to go through. Closing cycles, shutting doors, ending chapters - whatever name we give it, what matters is to leave in the past the moments of life that have finished. Did you lose your job? Has a loving relationship come to an end? Did you leave your parents' house? Gone to live abroad? Has a long-lasting friendship ended all of a sudden? You can spend a long time wondering why this has happened. You can tell yourself you won't take another step until you find out why certain things that were so important and so solid in your life have turned into dust, just like that. But such an attitude will be awfully stressing for everyone involved: your parents, your husband or wife, your friends, your children, your sister,everyone will be finishing chapters, turning over new leaves, getting on with life, and they will all feel bad seeing you at a standstill. None of us can be in the present and the past at the same time, not even when we try to understand the things that happen to us. What has passed will not return: we cannot for ever be children, late adolescents, sons that feel guilt or rancor towards our parents, lovers who day and night relive an affair with someone who has gone away and has not the least intention of coming back. Things pass, and the best we can do is to let them really go away. That is why it is so important (howeverpainful it may be!) to destroy souvenirs, move, give lots of things away to orphanages, sell or donate the books you have at home.Everything in this visible world is a manifestation of the invisible world, of what is going on in our hearts - and getting rid of certain memories also means making some room for other memories to take their place. Let things go. Release them. Detach yourselffrom them. Nobody plays this life with marked cards, so sometimes we win and sometimes welose. Do not expect anything in return, donot expect your efforts to be appreciated, your genius to be discovered, your love to beunderstood. Stop turning on your emotionaltelevision to watch the same program over and over again, the one that shows how much yousuffered from a certain loss: that is onlypoisoning you, nothing else. Nothing is more dangerous than not acceptinglove relationships that are broken off, work that is promised but there is no startingdate, decisions that are always put offwaiting for the "ideal moment." Before a new chapter is begun, the old one has to befinished: tell yourself that what has passedwill never come back. Remember that there was a time when you could live without that thing or that person - nothing is irreplaceable, a habit is not a need. This may sound so obvious, it may even be difficult, but it is very important. Closing cycles. Not because of pride, incapacity or arrogance, but simply because that no longer fits your life. Shut the door, change the record, clean the house, shake off the dust. Stop being who you were, and change into who you are. "Love is a commitment of the heart that willstand the test of wavering emotions, intellectual rationalizing, circumstantialallure, hormonal infatuation, and even thewounds of your lover. Anything less is not true love."

Babies

I was looking at the photo of Jena's babies. She is one of my high school friends that I can't wait to see in the reunion 25 days from now.
Goodness! How time flies. I cannot imagine how three adorable babies CAME OUT FROM HER! From my friend's womb. I was in awe, really!
I went to my doctor earlier and she was soo huge due to her pregnancy. I was again in awe!
Woah! Don't think I do not know the birds and the bees stuff ... I do. But you see, it still never fails to amaze me how in the world can a beating heart and a palpitating soul of a little human being is IN a mom's womb and how, once it is welcomed to the world, such baby will grow into a man or a woman, will study, eat, sleep, make friends, marry, travel and ultimately will also die.
Morbid. But true.
Oh, life is a wonderful. Don't get me wrong that I just look at babies and think, "oh one day, this baby will die" ... it's a crazy thought.
Of course, like the others, I adore babies.
But the thought of what life is is there, you know.
An amazement. A constant miraculous exhibition. That each walking human has all the capacity and capability to perform MIRACLE. To give LIFE to another person. Nurture it. Feed it. See it. Until the time for another cycle of reproduction.
Such power ... but such responsibility as well.
It's a scary feeling, no? It scares me, promise.
I'm not a mother ... not yet, at least. But when I think of how I will carry in me a baby and bring him / her out int his world, the thought petrifies me.
The world is soo cruel at times. It is noisy and dirty and evil. How can you bring a baby in this condition when you know that the future seems doom to fail?
But to hold a baby, a small life, a living proof of humanity, in your arms, must be the most happy existence a person can feel.
Amazing yet terrifying.
Oh, I think too much. And all this because of three little babies I was staring at a while ago.
This all came out when I was just looking at the picture of three adorable children of a friend. I'm not sure if it was the idea of her having 3 kids already or the 3 kids came from her ... I dunno. But the existence of life from another existence is a miracle too beautiful to comprehend.
Maybe it is true. To understand life is too much. That we cannot really gasp what life really is until .....................


until I do not know when.
Life continues ...

later.

Love is ...

I was on my way home last night and the usual traffic allowed my thoughts to once again drift away while viewing the world outside the car I was in.
Then, amidst the noise and the commotion I was observing, it just hit me on the face ... this thought about LOVE.
I have read so many readings about love and its definition. Some cheesy, some philosophical, some serious, some just for the laughs.
Then I asked, what is love for me? How do my finite mind express in words the meaning of a word whose depth and soul has been a search universally by all people from all walks of life?
I realised, that LOVE is a sacrifice. That man can never reveal that they have love until they have given something, somehow of themselves to the one they love. That, I think, is what LOVE is. A selfish man can never say that he has loved. Love can never be until you have offered something of yourself for the benefit of the other. Until the time you have thought yourself second and the one you love first, then you have not known what love is.
It's like when a child ask from a mother the bread she is to put on her mouth, the mother will thoughtlessly offer the piece of life to her child.
Or like a husband who have an important moment to shine in his career learns his wife is dying, he will thoughtlessly give up the once - in - a - lifetime chance to be with his ailing bride.
Or a friend who has found the best dress for the school dance only to find out it was the first choice of her best girlfriend too, who will be having her first date with her long time crush, she will thoughtlessly offer to have the second best dress for herself and give away the first to her friend.
Or even a dog who thougthlessly welcomes a bullet to protect the master he loves.
Thoughtlessly. Not even a single thought to the mind.
I dunno, maybe there is more to love than what I have thought it would be. I'm sure there is.
But I have looked at the Cross, stare in Jesus, whose arms are wide spread, whose side is bleeding, whose head crowned with thorns, and I thought, what this man has done maybe what the depth of love is.
He has not only given a piece of himself, but the whole of him to mankind.
With the thought of love raising in my mind, brewing inside me, I have asked myself, have I ever made anyone feel that I LOVE them? In its true meaning, have I ever?
I thought of my mom and my sister and my grandmother, and my nephews, my aunts, and my brother, my closest friends ...
I felt I have ... and yet I felt I have yet more time to prove such feeling of mine to them.
I have realised that there is nothing short to giving my life for my love one.
I left the car feeling absolutely scared and truly jubilant with the thought.

later.

Three Men and a Big Lady

A very close friend of mine, an ally, a confidante, is leaving next week for abroad. As much as I am truly happy that he will be seeking a better challenge somewhere, I am but human to feel sadness in his departure.

We have been the "fabulos 'por' ", the "prayer warriors", as we have shared to one another the prayer of each. Ours is a bond that is tightly intertwined amidst resignation and the feeling of discontent (if you are closest to us, you will know what that is). They are my brothers in prayers, in laughters, in food tripping, in problem solving, in chismisan. I was always considered one of the boys despite how I always tell them "hello, babae ako!" whenever they get immerse with their boy's talk. I was their big sister, literally at that, as when the four of us walk together, I tower over my three "little" brothers. They have taught me that men are generally good by showing me how they are ... to their wives and sisters and daughters and .... me ... that is when they feel being nice to me and not treat me like I'm of the same specie as them.

The four of us, we have dreams of our own. We share our visions and dreams for ourselves, for our families and even for our friendship. We pray together for each. We are silent amidst the chaos. We support. We triumphed.

One left few months back and it saddened me that one of the four corners had gone chasing the end of his rainbow. A responsible man to his family, a funny man to his friends, a respected professional in his field. Donskie, we call him. To me, he is the Ching, short for tabachingching.

After few turns and stops, another of the four corner will be leaving his post today for a better pasture ahead. He was a funny man, serious in his field, the "lion" man and "possessed" whenever he feels the lens of the camera is focused on him. You will never miss how popular he is amongst the people in our workplace. No bad blood, he is that. Everyone simply adores this man of diplomacy and wit.

To you, my utol James Kulotskie so long. I am sure we will once again see each other as we have all planned.

Now that only two of us are left, we try to hold on to our posts. We wait. Time is crucial. We know in time, in His most perfect time and perfect will, Boomskie and I will also be placed to where we will soar as high as our two brothers.

later.

Break the Code of Dan Brown

I read the Da Vinci Code by Dan Brown several days ago. The "controversies" he has presented in his novel really shook me to the core of my intellectual capacity. The idea of the inaccuracy of history itself as was depicted and idealized by Brown is substantially shocking and moving. The possibilities of his endless narrative on the church and its teachings , of Jesus Christ, Mary Magdalene and even the "codes" behind the canvasses of Da Vinci's portraits are revolutionary. Such is a sure shot to trigger old issues of the church and her deviants, of history itself and the perspective of man on what is truly believeable and divinely transcendental and what is just a mere creation of a finite mind.

I was asked if the book of Brown convinced me. I have thought about it and realised I never view the book as means to "convince" me of what I have otherwise grown up and faithfully believed in for a long time.

The novel entertained me. As i said, it is revolutionary but nothing I have never heard before.

I find nothing wrong if people who have read the book cast doubts and question their beliefs. Man himself should know how to seek the depth of his faith, not by mere words or graphics or heresay. His depth must come to the communion of his higher self, his spirit, his soul with his God... and not with mere pages of a fictional novel.

later.

later

she can't breathe.
she woke up today in the anticipation of an event she has been waiting for in a long time and yet it didn't happen.
she felt the void. the emptiness inside.
she thought today she will receive the answer she have asked herself a hundred times over. she was wrong. it isn't time.
she do not know how long she can wait. she wants to see him again; the desire to be held in his arms. for the first time or for the last.
it still hurt sometimes when you know to yourself that you have let it all go, problems have vanished and life for you has moved on. but in an instant he appears back in your life, everything you have worked hard to achieve in building bricks around your heart began crushing down.
when will this stop? when is the time she can say she has really really REALLY moved on? can she tell? can anyone tell?
later.

Bridge

Everyday, on my way to work, I pass by a bridge which is parallel to another one several meters away. In between is a foul man-mad lake, inhibited by lilies and the day-to-day garbage of the people living in the shanties near the body of water

Everytime I would look out the window of the car, I would always see myself looking at that other bridge and wonder if i can ever reach it by crossing its gap ... a filthy garbage filled man-made river.

In days when the sun is up and all is shiny and bright, I can clearly see the bridge. In days when rain pours and the mist clouds the view, I can just barely sight the outline of it. Either way, whenever my eyes pan on the view, I always question if I can ever reach and cross it from where I was.

I have not found the answer on how but I know, one day, it will happen.

later.

Before Sunset

I saw Before Sunset.

I must say, it simply took my breathe away.

As the movie starts, I find myself catching my breathe and waiting fervently to every word uttered by Jesse (Ethan Hawke) as he talks about his book which narrates the experience he had with the beautiful french girl in Vienna 9 years ago. The movie simply took me away as Jesse saw Celine (Julie Deply) from the background and everything was simply beautiful as they started to walk and converse, laugh and go crazy in the whole length of the movie.

This movie is not for everyone. So it is a love story. But not your conventional type of boy sweeping girl off her feet and a happy ending. Remember, this is a sequel of Before Sunrise.
It is either you love the movie or you hate it. Whichever signifies the type of a moviegoer (or even a person) you are.

Before Sunrise was on of those few films that hits me to the core. But this one, Before Sunset, is just one memorable film. Maybe the reason is the simplicity of the movie and how it narrates life and love is as simple as just having two souls walking and talking, about things that may be trivial or things that are intense and thought pondering.

I simply love it when the two leads would just talk and talk and talk then for a while stop and just feel the exicitng silence between them. And it doesnt make them uncomfortable but rather the existence of silence was the bind that tied their souls together which lasted for 9 years until they met again in Paris.

Hmm ... maybe when we're younger we think that we have a full lifetime ahead to meet other people that could replace the ones we have met in the past . But as we grow older, we realise that there are only few ones who can really make our lives change.

I wonder now the people whom I have met by chance along the way.

later.