I have lost and I have found.
We have lost so many people in our lives as we go through the years ... things we misplaced ... words we forgot ... promises we failed to keep ...
I have gone through all the losing, missing, forgetting and failing .... and yet I have once again found.
It is an immense feeling of satisfaction and utter happiness ... having hopeless devotion of the feeling of lost and thought of an empty infinite life ahead ...
and yet, a chance has opened up an oasis of renewed possibilities.
A new yet old commencement of life.
It is true indeed that life is a second chance, at times.
later.
Friday, October 29, 2004
Wedding and Marriage
My dear friend is gettig married. Up until last night, it has not sink in to all of us, her friends, that she really is tying the knot. But she is, with all her wedding dress and shoes prepared.
The guy is of a totally different culture from her. Totally different orientation, beliefs, name it, most likely, he oppose her as she does him too.Though one thing is sure they have total affirmation to each other with ... that is the love they have within for each other.
I can't speak for the guy, of course. I have met him once, when he was just casually introduced to me and he uttered two words to me ... "I'm ___ (his name)". I cannot form an opinion in one introduction, or one meeting ... I do not even have a first impression other than what I can see physically. To judge a person with what is superficial is the lamest and dumbest and I do not carry such traits. I take him as he is. No more, no less.
But I trust my friend. And I believe her.She knows and feels and transcendentally grasps from her soul what she wants and maybe, just maybe, she has found "it" all to him. Isn't it love, in its most oddest to others, most obscure and bizzare to the rest of the world, is the most sane and reasonable emotion to the two hearts beating as one? Don't take my word for it, goodness! Maybe some can comprehend and others can't. Figure.
I always say that getting married is not necessarily finding the right person but rather the right time. I hope to God she finds the right time and the right person in him.
She has been preparing for her wedding and having just some small, not so really signifacant matter such as where to wed ... heheh .. He is not Catholic, her family wants her wedding in the traditional Filipino way ... in a Catholic Church.
It is not the wedding that is important. In the long run, it is the marriage that matters and the love and respect and the laughs, of course.
Let me tell you about my friend ... she is one of the kindest person I have ever encountered in my life. God fearing, devoted, honest, humble and humane. Words of kindess and truth in me cannot even define the deep respect and care I have for this friend of mine.Of all, she is one of those I pray dearly to find someone who will truly love her and bestow on her the happiness she so much deserve.
In this just-a-little-sudden wedding, all I pray and wish and desire for her is a love to forever grow and flourish with the divine intervention of the God she truly believes and faithfully pray to.
To you, mareng Vie, my best and most joyous wishes.The road you took may have been one of the roughest and darkest ... but you believe in the light as you never fear the shadows.
We are all waiting to shower you with all the support and love you need!
Cheers!
later.
The guy is of a totally different culture from her. Totally different orientation, beliefs, name it, most likely, he oppose her as she does him too.Though one thing is sure they have total affirmation to each other with ... that is the love they have within for each other.
I can't speak for the guy, of course. I have met him once, when he was just casually introduced to me and he uttered two words to me ... "I'm ___ (his name)". I cannot form an opinion in one introduction, or one meeting ... I do not even have a first impression other than what I can see physically. To judge a person with what is superficial is the lamest and dumbest and I do not carry such traits. I take him as he is. No more, no less.
But I trust my friend. And I believe her.She knows and feels and transcendentally grasps from her soul what she wants and maybe, just maybe, she has found "it" all to him. Isn't it love, in its most oddest to others, most obscure and bizzare to the rest of the world, is the most sane and reasonable emotion to the two hearts beating as one? Don't take my word for it, goodness! Maybe some can comprehend and others can't. Figure.
I always say that getting married is not necessarily finding the right person but rather the right time. I hope to God she finds the right time and the right person in him.
She has been preparing for her wedding and having just some small, not so really signifacant matter such as where to wed ... heheh .. He is not Catholic, her family wants her wedding in the traditional Filipino way ... in a Catholic Church.
It is not the wedding that is important. In the long run, it is the marriage that matters and the love and respect and the laughs, of course.
Let me tell you about my friend ... she is one of the kindest person I have ever encountered in my life. God fearing, devoted, honest, humble and humane. Words of kindess and truth in me cannot even define the deep respect and care I have for this friend of mine.Of all, she is one of those I pray dearly to find someone who will truly love her and bestow on her the happiness she so much deserve.
In this just-a-little-sudden wedding, all I pray and wish and desire for her is a love to forever grow and flourish with the divine intervention of the God she truly believes and faithfully pray to.
To you, mareng Vie, my best and most joyous wishes.The road you took may have been one of the roughest and darkest ... but you believe in the light as you never fear the shadows.
We are all waiting to shower you with all the support and love you need!
Cheers!
later.
Thursday, October 28, 2004
Stuck in the Moment
Have you ever felt a moment in your life when you just WANT to be stuck in that very "second" of your life, as if your whole existence depended on it?
But then again, have you ever experienced that you are just so STUCK in that moment that you can not just budge no matter how you go crazy flagging your arms to find your way out?
Why can't life's moment be just the former rather than the latter? Or maybe, more moments in life should be a little more of the former and a little less , if not totally none, of the latter?
I feel moments that are precious should last a little longer than it have had in my life. And those that are just way too "forgettable" be just gone and diminish into thin air.
The more I wish it goes away, the "stuckable" moments, the more it remains. I miss the special times I want moments to end. I think life's significance is embedded in those times, those special moments.
im "blogging" again ... i do not know how to unearth from myself the emotions all bottled up inside longing for those ordinary yet extra ordinary moments of life. It does not have to be long walks in the beach under a star-filled skyline, or holding hands amidts a crowded avenue so as one is not lost from the other, or moments of silence then laughter of something silly as a glance ... it does not have to be that ... its maybe even just an unconscious attempt of having such moments is somehow more than enough for a thirsty soul and dry heart.
later.
But then again, have you ever experienced that you are just so STUCK in that moment that you can not just budge no matter how you go crazy flagging your arms to find your way out?
Why can't life's moment be just the former rather than the latter? Or maybe, more moments in life should be a little more of the former and a little less , if not totally none, of the latter?
I feel moments that are precious should last a little longer than it have had in my life. And those that are just way too "forgettable" be just gone and diminish into thin air.
The more I wish it goes away, the "stuckable" moments, the more it remains. I miss the special times I want moments to end. I think life's significance is embedded in those times, those special moments.
im "blogging" again ... i do not know how to unearth from myself the emotions all bottled up inside longing for those ordinary yet extra ordinary moments of life. It does not have to be long walks in the beach under a star-filled skyline, or holding hands amidts a crowded avenue so as one is not lost from the other, or moments of silence then laughter of something silly as a glance ... it does not have to be that ... its maybe even just an unconscious attempt of having such moments is somehow more than enough for a thirsty soul and dry heart.
later.
Friday, October 22, 2004
Grandmother
I look at her and smile.
all my childhood, adolescent, not-so-adolescent memories, I have spent with her.
she is the epitome of my strength. she gives meaning to the "unconditional love" I cannot comprehend at times.
looking at her makes me want to protect her, serve her, care for her and do all in my powers to make her life the most beautiful ... as she had made many lives in our family beautiful.
she is not a perfect woman. she screams, she shouts, she goes crazy. but what is all of that when what she do the best to all of us is LOVE.
i often say i die without her. i still feel that. i never know life without her.
she is aging by the day, growing older ... but age is just a number. physical power is just superficial ....
her power over us remains ... her power of love still stands amidst our family.
i love my grandmother like the air i breathe, like the blood that runs my veins.
i understand what it's like to sacrifice ones life to another ... she does that to all of us .. i know i can do it for her as well.
i love you, nay.
later.
all my childhood, adolescent, not-so-adolescent memories, I have spent with her.
she is the epitome of my strength. she gives meaning to the "unconditional love" I cannot comprehend at times.
looking at her makes me want to protect her, serve her, care for her and do all in my powers to make her life the most beautiful ... as she had made many lives in our family beautiful.
she is not a perfect woman. she screams, she shouts, she goes crazy. but what is all of that when what she do the best to all of us is LOVE.
i often say i die without her. i still feel that. i never know life without her.
she is aging by the day, growing older ... but age is just a number. physical power is just superficial ....
her power over us remains ... her power of love still stands amidst our family.
i love my grandmother like the air i breathe, like the blood that runs my veins.
i understand what it's like to sacrifice ones life to another ... she does that to all of us .. i know i can do it for her as well.
i love you, nay.
later.
Tears Tonight
When we actually think we have it all, we crawl to our bed and shed tears for reasons our deepest thoughts cannot dicepher.
we cry for reasons our body needs to release its pain, our heart needs to shed it emotions, our minds need to unburden its weight, our souls need to clean its existence.
we cry for reasons we cannot understand. the water flows from our eyes, blurring the sight we try to keep, of the ceiling of our rooms that seems to be too high to reach by our vision. we are helpless.
and yet tomorrow, everything will still be in its place. the tears are gone and the pain, less.
we still have it all and yet the circle will once again repeat itself.
tonight.
later.
we cry for reasons our body needs to release its pain, our heart needs to shed it emotions, our minds need to unburden its weight, our souls need to clean its existence.
we cry for reasons we cannot understand. the water flows from our eyes, blurring the sight we try to keep, of the ceiling of our rooms that seems to be too high to reach by our vision. we are helpless.
and yet tomorrow, everything will still be in its place. the tears are gone and the pain, less.
we still have it all and yet the circle will once again repeat itself.
tonight.
later.
Dream and Life
he gasps. the dream again ...
he reached for a hand and yet before he holds it, just when the moment his hand touches the soft dainty hand, it disappers and wakes up.
life is so much like the hand.
we gasp it, we touch it and its gone ... and only when we sleep, only when we are in our most unconscious self that it appears once again and touches us.
we live to dream and we dream to live.
later
he reached for a hand and yet before he holds it, just when the moment his hand touches the soft dainty hand, it disappers and wakes up.
life is so much like the hand.
we gasp it, we touch it and its gone ... and only when we sleep, only when we are in our most unconscious self that it appears once again and touches us.
we live to dream and we dream to live.
later
Thursday, October 21, 2004
Again ... a new beginning
I'm a faithful believer of second chances.
I believe that if we desire it in our hearts, what we may have lost once may be realised again as a second chance.
I have lost a lot in my life. and true enough, I had my second chances.
The question of having it in my hand and seizing the once gone moment, I have yet to contemplate with myself. I may have lost many second chances as well.
Life is not a one strike deal, my dears. We are truly blessed of a second "life" by our Creator.
Writing here is a second "life" ... maybe even several "lives" over ... but the chance is here and it has once again given.
Im grasping the sand in my palm. It, in time, will fleet, will fade .... gone ... as life itself.
But I will put its mark in my palm, to remember it once touched my life.
And maybe yours.
later.
I believe that if we desire it in our hearts, what we may have lost once may be realised again as a second chance.
I have lost a lot in my life. and true enough, I had my second chances.
The question of having it in my hand and seizing the once gone moment, I have yet to contemplate with myself. I may have lost many second chances as well.
Life is not a one strike deal, my dears. We are truly blessed of a second "life" by our Creator.
Writing here is a second "life" ... maybe even several "lives" over ... but the chance is here and it has once again given.
Im grasping the sand in my palm. It, in time, will fleet, will fade .... gone ... as life itself.
But I will put its mark in my palm, to remember it once touched my life.
And maybe yours.
later.
Morning After
Today i think of yesterday. of its beauty and its wonder and its fun and its everything.
Today i think of how i miss not spending my time well with yesteday, with friends and family. Today I regret not enjoying my yesterday with its woes and blues, its ups and downs and its thin thread of sanity and craziness.
Why do i miss yesterday today?
I search for the brightness of yesterday, of its possibilities, of its infinite miles to run, of its vast fields to conquer, of its peaks to achieve ....
all of it happened yesterday. and i thought of that today.
is it too late to bring back the yesterday today?
i wonder.
will i think of today tomorrow?
later.
Today i think of how i miss not spending my time well with yesteday, with friends and family. Today I regret not enjoying my yesterday with its woes and blues, its ups and downs and its thin thread of sanity and craziness.
Why do i miss yesterday today?
I search for the brightness of yesterday, of its possibilities, of its infinite miles to run, of its vast fields to conquer, of its peaks to achieve ....
all of it happened yesterday. and i thought of that today.
is it too late to bring back the yesterday today?
i wonder.
will i think of today tomorrow?
later.
Wednesday, October 20, 2004
Sick and Tired
this is a lousy morning. you ever wonder how a morning like this will end up beat and in tempo by the evening.my nose is once again screaming from all the mucus it has been dispensing, my eyes teary once again and my throat burning painfully.
what is with colds anyway? is it this season? it's just that everyone i sit beside with, or talk to are either coughing or sneezing ... geez, cover your noses, people!some others are catching your virus and you are actually ruining a life!urgh!
all my chat programs here at the office are down due to server probs. my life in this four corner of the space only exist and breathe for yahoo and msn messenger. not to mention the chikka programs which truly helps me in the fiscal crisis of aloting just enuf e-load to my justify my mobile's existence.
oh. now im maybe blabbing but then again this is what this is for, right?
later.
what is with colds anyway? is it this season? it's just that everyone i sit beside with, or talk to are either coughing or sneezing ... geez, cover your noses, people!some others are catching your virus and you are actually ruining a life!urgh!
all my chat programs here at the office are down due to server probs. my life in this four corner of the space only exist and breathe for yahoo and msn messenger. not to mention the chikka programs which truly helps me in the fiscal crisis of aloting just enuf e-load to my justify my mobile's existence.
oh. now im maybe blabbing but then again this is what this is for, right?
later.
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