Tsunami: December 26, 2004

It's been over two weeks since the fateful day of Dec. 26 had passed.

It is only now that I muster the the words to write and excruciatingly choose the very fibers of what I feel about what happened.

I was not in any place where the tsunami struck. I was home, preparing for my party on the night of the 26th, very far from the areas where the giant wave destroyed lives and properties in incomprehsible magnitude. I only saw the news at CNN in the early morning of the 27th, several hours after the party I attended and several hours after killer waters have taken hundreds of thousands of lives.

I was in a numb feeling, as days following the event began to unfold before the eyes of the whole world. Tens of thousands of lives were lost, young and old, rich or poor. The properties were destroyed, lands were erased from the map. The unfathomable reflection of the effects of the tsunami was devastingting not only to those who were directly involved to the victims but to everyone in the world who has the eyes to see, the heart to feel and the mind to comprehend.

For days, I must admit, I was a freaking example of those affected. I would ride the car to work, and while I was travelling, I would sometimes stop and think how huge a 30 feet wave would look like. And more significantly, how I would react if it's already in my face, towering over. It gives me creeps, it scares me to death! My finite mind CANNOT imagine it, no, I cannot. But it has happened. I have seen how such waves struck the people in shock and with not even a warning, through the videos and photos taken by those fortunate to survive the tragedy.

Those people in Thailand or Indonesia or Sri Lanka and all other affected countries tried to run but the water was fast and, not to mention, BIG. The fast waves hit the lands for only several minutes but it took with it the Andrews, the Samanthas, the Mohammeds, little Johns and little Marys, old man Davids and other faceless people who were buried in deep wrath of the waters.

For days, I tried not to watch television, avoid joining discussions on the devastation of the tsunami. Even for a while, I stopped talking to God. I was not angry to Him, of course not. But my heart cannot speak of the depth of what I feel to actually put into words what I want to pray to Him. In silence, I give Him my prayers. I let him hear my heart. He knows what I feel.

But more so, God knows what THEY feel. Those afflicted by the calamity, those hearts bleeding due to the tragedy, those minds who are confuse and cannot understand .... He hears them all and He remains in control.

Oh, in times like this, it is difficult to remain faithfuly strong to the God we deeply believe in. To explain to them, to even begin to explain to them, those whose children died, whose parents gone, whose house and business vanished, the existence of God, is anything but easy.

But more so, today, in this times of enormous stress, unimaginable grief, the seemingly endless sorrow, we must all hold on to something ... to someone ... to God.

God is with all of us. But most specially, He is closest at the moment to those who are tired and helpless and sad. He is closest to all of them THROUGH the faces of all those nameless people all over the world who, in the first hour after the devastation, were there with the victims. God is that person who carries the body of the dead, those who reach out the bowl of soup the victims can eat, those who endanger their own lives to make sure the other remaining survivors are seen and are saved.

The world has come into one body to reach out to Thailand, Indonesia, Sri Lanka, Burma, India, Maldives, Somalia and all the other countries. This has been the role of God. To gather us all together and in one, move towards responsibility and care.

No one wills the tsunami to happen. NO ONE is to blame for what happened. No one.

I do not know how to end this blog. The words I have written is not even close to what I truly unearth in my sad heart and in my restless soul.For I know my sentiments of what transpired on the morning of December 26, 2004 will never end in my heart.

later.